The Cross of Death (No, not really)

There is something about me that attracts injuries all the time. It’s like a magnetic force that draws them near me. Broken bones, muscle sprains, hairline fractures, ligament tears- you name it and I’ve got it. And most of them are like, really freak injuries. Like for instance, the time when I kicked a brick wall for missing out on a goal while playing football, and subsequently broke my foot. DUH!

Adding to the list, the “new release” pre se, is a badly bruised knee cap. I must say, I can’t remember having THIS one before, so yeah, it’s new all right. FLASHBACK: Wednesday,26th march…

I had this voucher see, Rs. 1000 off on a particular brand of wrist watch. Now, a grand is a fair sum, so I was keen to claim it. (Certain people HATE it when cribbed about vouchers, but there you go.) I had to make a trip to far away Andheri. Out of the house. Board a train. Alight. Board another train (fast). Alight. And there I was, at the suburb I mentioned.

Now as far as railway stations in Mumbai go, Andheri was no different. Ultra crowded, with more people per square meter than ants in the Amazon rainforest. I had to take a rickshaw to get to the store, and so I hailed one. This is where all went a tad pear shaped.

This guy, the autowallah, parked his vehicle on the wrong side of the road. So that meant I had to cross the street, a very busy street. “balls” I said to myself as I proceeded to undertake the arduous journey across a rush hour Mumbai road. My mind was not really on crossing the road, as I had done it loads of times (Amar Mahal is where I live, and things get pretty “messy” here too).

Now, things happened very quickly, and I really don’t know what happened, but this is what I can guess. There I was, happily crossing the street, humming “tu cheez badi hai mast mast”. Out of nowhere (my left, to be precise), this other autowallah comes and rams into me. OK I probably exaggerated a bit: not RAMMED as such, just hit me hard. I dunno what had gotten into him, he was most likely plain jealous of the other rick I had hailed. But if THAT was the case, why didn’t he hit the “lucky” autowallah?????

Anyway, the “hitter” calmly said “arre, dekh ke chalo bhaiyya”. I’m guessing he has done this before too, judging by his composure. But then, HE wasn’t the one struck. Anyway, I was now in no mood to say or do anything, nor was in the physical condition. My left knee was swollen, and I was pretty sure it was a fracture. I couldn’t bend my leg at all, and somehow crawled into the auto that was patiently witnessing this entire hullabaloo.

The rest of the day went pretty much without incident, not that I wanted any more. I returned home, lighter by Rs. 800 (got a watch costing 1800 :P) and limping badly. The QUACK doctor I go to all the time had pearls of wisdom to offer: “look at it for 2 days, if it doesn’t heal, it’s a fracture.” DERP!

Anyway, I decided to get an X ray done, and thankfully, it was NOT a fracture. “Bruised knee cap”. Yeah whatever. So I was at home, cursing my luck, and thinking about the friend I mentioned. Perhaps now I kow why he hates people who are in a mad rush to claim vouchers :-P. Yeah, I’ll hop into the bandwagon too then.. or should I say, half limp, half crawl into it.