The Omnipresent

Driving on an empty stretch of road, with the cool breeze ruffling your hair, and some fine music playing in the CD player: all the regular car drivers will know that this is ultimate bliss. So that’s how it all seemed to be panning out one fine afternoon, when I took my car out for a spin. But, as they say, great dreams are short lived; and to jolt me awake from my stupor, out comes this man from nowhere, right in the middle of the road! I have to summon all my reflexes to slam the brakes, simultaneously honking at the guy who decided that walking in the middle of the road was something in vogue. “Chacha” turns back, quizzically, as if to wonder what a TATA Indica was doing on “his” road, bang in the middle of the afternoon. Finally, after ensuring that he has made it clear that under no circumstances will he tolerate any more vehicles on the road, and that it is meant solely for enjoying a leisurely stroll, he gives way.

This is the usual scene on Indian roads. Everywhere you go, you have to spend most of your energy and concentration in trying to remove pedestrians from the street. And it’s no mean feat, mind you. These so called “owners of the road” seem to materialize out of thin air. You are driving peacefully, and POOF! There they are. You are left wondering where they came from: the road seemed empty just a moment ago.

Of course, the travails of the hapless driver don’t end there. Not only do these “fine victories of evolution” make random appearances, but some of them make it a point not to move out of the way despite repeated honking. How upper middle aged females can walk in the centre of the road, listen to a horn pleading them to move, turn around, see a ten wheeler arriving towards them, and still continue with their “this is my property” walk is amazing. I wish I were so brave. But then again, I’m thankful I wasn’t born with the IQ of a napkin.

Another class of this malice is the children. Now, I can accept the fact that little kids cannot be held responsible for venturing out on the street. Believe me, the last thing someone wants is to see a toddler run across the road, eyes transfixed on the puppy or the ball just in front of him. And even more frightening is when there is more than just the one.

Its not just the pedestrian that walks in the middle of the street that is the problem. Even good law abiding (common sense?) people who use the footpath present a danger. How? Just accidently run into a “road walker” and you’ll see what I mean. For some inexplicable reason, you will be held responsible for the collision, and the first to come to the aid of the hit will be the people on the footpath. “Cant you see where you are going?” they ask. “I could, but this smart Alec here didn’t find it the least bit strange to decide that he will use the road” you argue, but to no avail.

So, that’s the scene here. Wherever you go for a drive, you are bound to bump into (pun intended) one or more of the fine class of persons called the all knowing (ignorant probably? You decide) pedestrian. They will appear out of thin air, will try and outrun your vehicle, will not budge at all if you dare to sound the horn , or sometimes, just harmlessly sleeping on the road (yes, this happens too). It may yet turn out to be an advantage though: it will ensure that the driver has his eyes firmly on the road at all times, with peak levels of concentration. No wonder us Indians seem to produce geniuses by the million!!